Letting Go of Good Things God Never Assigned

When It Looks Like God but Isn’t (Part 1)

There are seasons when you look back on your life and realize that everything appeared aligned, successful, and purposeful, yet something still felt off. You were moving, building, and growing. On the outside, things looked fruitful. On paper, it all made sense. And yet, deep down, there was a quiet awareness that something was missing, even if you didn’t yet have the words to explain it.

That was the season I found myself in, when I had to ask the difficult question:

How can I be involved in something that looks right, feels purposeful, and still not be what God actually assigned?

I have been spending intentional time with the Lord, reflecting on my walk with Him, and this question has been sitting heavy in my spirit. During this time, I revisited an entry from my journal:

“Lord, honestly, I am very proud of myself. Why? Because it is 2025 and I am still here, and I know that it is only by the grace of God. I rededicated my life to You in 2020. I began exploring the prophetic call on my life in 2021. I was commissioned into the office of a Pastoral Prophet in 2023. I was commissioned into the office of an Apostle in 2024, and now I am serving as an Apostle full time in ministry and business. Literally a five-year journey of walking with You, and I could not be more grateful or elated. This journey was hard and challenging, and there were moments when I wanted to quit, but You stayed with me.”

I share this because it is important to sit before the Lord with honesty, to acknowledge the joy, the hardship, the excitement, the grief, and to reflect on how far you have come. I can honestly say that when I gave my life to Jesus, I never expected to be where I am today.

To understand how I arrived at this realization, you need to understand what my life looked like before I fully surrendered to Christ.

From a young age, I always had visibility. I was a student leader at my church. I was a high-achieving, straight-A student. I was the youngest person in my line dance company to be certified as an instructor. I traveled for line dance conferences and church conferences. I was a camp counselor and eventually became the director of a summer camp. I was a cheer coach and a math tutor for middle school students.

If you had asked me then, I would have told you I was living my best life. I had a relationship with God through church, I worked in education, and I was a dance instructor. Everything I could have imagined and more. I truly believed I was living my best life.

When I entered college, that sense of visibility only increased. I was a well-known student leader on campus. I became a manager for an up-and-coming Philadelphia artist. I met celebrities like Trevor Jackson, Corbin Bleu, Big Time Rush, and New Kids on the Block. I was pursuing a career in education, learning how I desired to serve students. I continued teaching dance and eventually began leading at conferences.

I had friendships that I believed were deep, aligned, and lifelong. We dreamed together about making an impact on the world, bringing all of our experiences together. Once again, I truly thought I was living my best life.

In these relationships and opportunities, there was vision. There was strategy. There was intentionality to build and move forward together.

And yet, something was missing.

It took time, reflection, and healing for me to recognize what it was, but eventually the Lord made it clear.

These spaces were not Spirit-led.

There was no prayer involved.
There was no covenant.
There was no space for intentional growth and development.

The opportunities themselves were not bad. They were exciting. They felt like everything I had wanted and prayed for. Yet I still felt empty. That emptiness existed because God was not truly involved. His name was mentioned often, but He was not apart of the process.

In 2020, I made the decision to rededicate my life to Christ because I realized I was not walking with Him. I knew of Him, but I did not have a relationship with Him. My exact words to the Lord were, “Lead me in the direction and path You want me to follow. Whatever You want me to do, I will do.”

Looking back now, I didn’t fully understand what I was praying, but I was committed to the process. I chose to seek God intentionally and to make space for what He wanted for me, in alignment with His will.

At first, nothing immediately changed. The friendships remained. The relationships continued.

But eventually, it wasn’t them who left.

It was me.

I began to disconnect emotionally, not because anyone had done something wrong, but because I started to grow. As I grew, my values, boundaries, and expectations shifted. This was also around the time I joined Selah Seminary.

As healing took place, I began to see something clearly. Many of the relationships and opportunities I had committed myself to were not aligned with God’s timing for me, nor were they the relationships God was calling me into.

A counterfeit calling is often a replica of the true assignment God has for you, offered outside of His timing, covenant, and healing.

What made this difficult to discern was that much of what I was doing was connected to my calling.

I am called to be in spaces with well-known individuals.
I am called to interview people about their journeys.
I am called to travel.
I am called to education.
I am called to oversee a dance company.

None of those things were wrong. The issue was timing, alignment, and covenant. These assignments needed to be built with God at the center and alongside the relationships He was calling me into.

As the Lord continued to heal me, I realized something deeper. Many of the relationships I had been building were connected to an unhealed father wound. Even when people affirmed me or said they valued my voice, I never truly felt seen or valued. I stayed in spaces where I felt undervalued because I was trying to soothe an emotional wound through relationships.

At the time, presence mattered more to me than standards. I did not grow up with my father, so simply being included felt like enough. I was codependent and did not know how to set healthy boundaries. I was never taught how to value my space, time, or energy, nor how to protect them. Because of that, my boundaries were often crossed. I allowed men to dishonor my space because I wanted to keep them around to soothe an emotional wound. In doing so, I did not honor or love myself.

These men did not outwardly disrespect me. They were focused on their growth, and I was focused on mine. Over time, as healing continued, we grew apart.

Letting go of those relationships was not easy. Imagine building ten-year relationships centered on shared dreams, visions, and goals, only to later realize that what you were committing yourself to was impure and not of God.

The soul ties were strong.

I was grateful for the revelation, but releasing those relationships required me to confront how my brokenness had influenced the dreams, visions, and commitments I had attached myself to.

As I processed this with the Lord, I began to see how common this pattern is. Many prophets and apostles commit to plans, visions, and assignments that God has not actually set before them.

Loyalty, fear of moving on, and unresolved parental wounds can make it difficult to recognize when something is no longer aligned.

It looks like what God said.
It feels like what God said.
But it is not what God said.

Through prayer, reflection, and godly counsel, the Lord began to gently expose what I had been dismissing, rationalizing, or spiritualizing away. What once felt like discomfort revealed itself as discernment. What I had labeled stretching was, in truth, misalignment.

Often, misaligned relationships do not announce themselves loudly. They remain hidden beneath good intentions, shared language, or surface-level spirituality.

Some signs that you may be involved in relationships that are out of alignment include:

1.The relationship causes you to compromise your values and biblical standards.
God may be mentioned, but there is no conviction, accountability, or alignment with biblical truth. Boundaries are crossed, and compromise becomes normalized.

2. You do not feel seen, heard, or valued.
You share ideas and vision, but they are not truly received. You give much of your time and energy while feeling sidelined or overlooked.

3.You find yourself people-pleasing or silencing your truth to stay connected.
You avoid honesty to prevent conflict and respond based on what you think others want to hear.

4.You are constantly pouring out emotionally and spiritually, but it is not reciprocated.
You give time, energy, money, advice, and encouragement, yet find yourself depleted and exhausted.

In these relationships, you may feel used, unworthy, tired, and unloved.

If you recognize these patterns, take time to seek the Lord in prayer.

As you ask the Lord how you can grow and remain aligned with Him, remember that one of the primary ways alignment is revealed is through your relationships. I am deeply grateful for the relationships I have now. I no longer need to shrink myself or silence my voice. I can be my authentic self and walk in the will of the Lord with accountability, love, and grace, something I never knew existed.

The journey has not been easy, but Mya in 2025 is far stronger than she was in 2020. I am thankful not only for praying the prayer, but for continuing to choose obedience, growth, and perseverance, and for not giving up on myself or the journey.

I pray the same for you as you read this. I pray this encourages you to do the hard thing. It may sting in the beginning, but the fruit of obedience is far more powerful than you could ever imagine.

Sometimes the most loving thing God does is call us out of seasons that look good on the outside but are no longer aligned on the inside.

I also want to let you know that this is only Part 1 of a series I am writing.

Stay tuned for Part 2.

See y’all next time. 🙂